Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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