Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Shame is for Republicans.
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