I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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