Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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