made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize