do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
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i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
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You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
i out mim tonsoeep
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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