so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize