Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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