Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We are all done wearing pants today
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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