If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
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We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
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Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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