seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize