You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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