I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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