Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
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He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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