Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize