your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize