Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize