The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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