I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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