i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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