im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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