ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
i think im in europe. pls send help
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize