There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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