Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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