I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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