Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
it glows. i had to have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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