I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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