i just wanna soil my oats bro
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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