This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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