i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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