we're blogging at a bar
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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