Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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