you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
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I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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