I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize