just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
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