smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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