she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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