Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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