I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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