we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize