Me. At least after what I've been through.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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