So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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