If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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