i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize