I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
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Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
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How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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