porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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