She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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