oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
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I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
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why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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