her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize