I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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